Dealing with a Difficult Person

 

I’m just going to vent for a second here….I have been totally frustrated, annoyed, irritated, and just plain ticked. Why? You ask. Well I have a difficult person in my life. I’ve had a difficult person in my life for as long as I can remember. It’s really been getting bad and I need some relief in this area of my life so I have been PRAYING a lot about it. The following are some of my thoughts on this subject, maybe just a reminder to myself to help me endure the difficult person in my life.

So far I have come up with these truths:

·         There will always be difficult people in the world. Some you can just turn away & never deal with again, some are family or coworkers who you have to deal with. That’s just life, like there will always be sin in the world because of the fall, there will always be difficult people.

 

·         It doesn’t matter what you do you just can’t please some folks.

 

·         When dealing with these difficult people, remember it’s more about them than you. Try not to take it personally. Hurting people hurt people. They don’t even realize how difficult they are.

 

·         Most difficult people are just angry, bitter & resentful people and unfortunately take it out on those closest to them.

 

·         You can’t change a difficult person! Only God can change them, with a little help from the difficult person themselves.

 

So how does one cope with a difficult person? I am going to try and put into action the following:

·         Love them anyway, no matter how hard that is to do

 

·         Try and see them through the eyes of Jesus and not my own eyes

 

·         Focus on the positive attributes of the difficult person

 

·         Try to empathize if not than sympathize

 

·         Have patience, my lack of patience only exasperates the situation

 

·         Don’t argue with them, it’s pointless

 

·         Try and keep a sense of humor

 

·         Pray for them (and myself)

 

Having to deal with a difficult person in your life can leave you exhausted, stressed, and really bring you down with all their negativity. I think most important is to keep myself before the Lord. He is the only one who can give me strength, endurance, and patience to see me through when I am dealing with this difficult person.

I think the Lord is dealing with me in how I respond to this difficult person. I really want to do the right thing it’s just SO hard sometimes. But I know that I am called to do better and be better. So after weeks of suffering from irritation & frustration over my difficult person I began to seek the Lord in the situation. I told Tom that this person was going to be my service project this holiday season. I am going to do right, act right, be nice and patient even if it kills me!

 

Do you have a difficult person in your life? If so, how do you cope with them? Especially when that person is a close family member?

 

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What I’m Thankful for Today (Monday)

Tom

My Goofy hubby. Matthew was so embarassed that his Dad was being so goofy that he hid his face.

 

Yesterday I told you that I was thankful for my church, ROCK Church. You can read about that here.

Today I am thankful for my husband Tom. Tom and I have been through a lot of ups and downs over the course of our marriage. But a few things have remained constant through it all.

  • Tom has always been supportive of me & anything I want to do
  • Tom took in two kids that weren’t his and always treats them as if they were
  • Tom is a wonderful father
  • Tom has put up with a lot junk from me
  • Tom is a good listener..he listens to my worries, my whines, my dreams, my gripes, my hopes, my hurts, my silly remarks, etc
  • Tom is funny. He’s like a kid sometimes which is what I liked so much about him in the begining, then it got old fast, but now I appreciate it even more
  • Tom is an awesome provider, he’s a hard worker
  • He’s a great “fix-it” guy, he can fix anything
  • Tom is easy going, which is good for a type A personality like myself. It has caused conflict but his laidbackness has softened me up over the years, helped me to relax a little
  • Tom is commited to our marriage & family
  • Tom is fun to be around
  • This list could go on and on but I’ll stop it here

Our marriage has not always been perfect, we’ve struggled in several areas but I am thankful for Tom. I am thankful that he loves me and he loves me even though I am far from perfect. I thank God for Tom because he has brought a lot to my life. I can’t imagine my life without him.

What are you thankful for today?

Then and Now

I was going through some old pictures and came across this…

 

Then: Fall 2004

Thomas, Jenna, Matthew

Thomas 4, Jenna 7, & Matthew 2 taken through the glass door. Awww. So precious!

 

Now: Fall 2008

The kids

Matthew 6, Thomas 8, & Jenna 11. Thomas is gaining on her in height!

Wow look how much they’ve grown in 4 years. My how time flies. I like to look back and compare. It also makes me a little sad looking back, it reminds me just how fast time goes by. In another 4 years Jenna will be 15, Thomas 12, Matthew 10 and Bradley will be 25. Oh My Gosh! I can’t even imagine how it will be or what they will look like then. I love my kids.

Here’s another one from 2004 this time with Bradley:2004

Bradley was 16 here and is now 20. Wow that makes me feel old saying that! It’s hard finding pictures of Bradley he hated getting his pics taken and he still does!

Hope you enjoyed reminiscing with me!

My Kid Cracks Me Up

This child of mine just cracks me up.

 

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So this morning I get up, get my morning coffee and go sit outside on our back porch to awaken fully. Matthew comes out and chatters away. He’s always talking, always moving. He came and sat on my lap and was loving all over me. The conversation to a slight turn and this is how it went.

Matthew: I want to be a country boy & country singer when I grow up.

Me: Really? How come?

Matthew: Well, I’ll be cool & famous.

Me: Yes you would.

Matthew: Ohh, and I would get all the HOT girls chasing after me.

Ohh my gosh! I almost spit out the coffee in my mouth. He’s only 6 years old, where in the world did that come from?! Well, unbeknownst to me Matthew & his brother Thomas had been watching the country video Ladies Love Country Boys starring Trace Adkins earlier that morning. They got a big kick out of it and that is where Matthew got the idea to become a country singer.

Oh how the media influences young minds. You can go here  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=762Hg5Zb5g0 to watch the video so you can get where Matthew was coming from.

St Patrick’s Day

Myspace Graphics

Happy St Patrick’s Day Everyone!! I’m making the traditional corned beef dinner tonight with some green vanilla pudding for dessert, just for the fun of it. I don’t think I have any Irish in me but thought I’d have some fun on this day. Fun has been hard to come by around here lately with all the sickness we’ve had so I’m doing it up today. No telling what might come our way tomorrow!

Are you doing anything special for St Patty’s day?

Another Round

I know I’ve been MIA here on blogging for the past two weeks but there is a reason. Sickness is the reason.  

Yes, we’ve experienced another round of sickness at the Montagno household. It started two weeks ago today when Matthew woke up in the middle of the night vomiting. He was out of school for two days with a stomach virus. Jenna was home one day that week also but she wasn’t really sick. Then that Friday Thomas came home from school running a fever and not feeling good. Thomas actually ran a fever for 7 days straight anywhere between 100 and 103.3 degrees. Took him to the Dr on Tuesday. Rapid strep came back negative but was positive for the flu. By Thursday he was not getting better as a matter of fact he was getting worse so I called his Dr. Ironic you’re calling us they said because we were getting ready to call you. Thomas’ culture came back positive for strep. I was very much relieved, not because he had strep but that at least we knew why he wasn’t getting any better. By Friday night with antibiotics in him he was feeling much better. Today I can happily say after a full week out of school he is back in school today. But unhappily I have Matthew home from school today complaining of a stomach ache and a sore throat and has a nasty cough coming on. Yesterday he wasn’t feeling good either. He was tired all day and had a sore throat. I am hoping it’s just a cold coming on, ok, maybe wishful thinking, but this stuff has got to stop sometime right? This has been the absolute worst year of sickness ever for us. I know we are not the only ones who have had this mess of sickness. Matthew’s teacher last week said that everyday for a week there has been 3-4 children out of class. What is going on this year??? What is up with all this sickness? It’s not contained to NC either. My sister in Traverse City, Michigan has told me about her grand-kids being sick with the same kinds of stuff all winter. My cousin in Nebraska and her family have battled with the same kinds of sickness also. So what gives? I know I am pretty tired of it all. My kids have missed a lot of school this winter. I have prayed, anointed the house, bleached the house, you name it I’ve done it. If you can suggest anything else I am open to it!! I want my house and family rid of all sickness.

Thomas missed his last basketball game, his awards ceremony, we missed our small group meeting…again, we missed Duane’s surprise party, we all missed church yesterday, I am lacking in good rest, behind on many things, the list goes on all because of this sickness.

We have 21 days and we leave on vacation. We simply can’t miss that!! I need a vacation!!

LESSONS FROM A KINDERGARTNER

(Out of the Mouths of Babes)

Don’t you hate when you get reprimanded by one of your own kids. God can use anybody including your children to get a point across to you. I think sometimes He really drives the point home through your children.

A few weeks ago I picked up the boys from their Kids Rock class at church. Jennifer went on to tell me how much Matthew just cracked her up so much that morning. This particular Sunday they were learning about saying kind words to others. Well Matthew, who is six, decided to tattle on his Momma about her saying ‘bad’ words. I was never really told exactly what was said, but what was said to me made me feel about an inch tall. Now I will admit to the world that occasionally I say some bad words. But my kids also think idiot, moron, and stupid are cuss words. And unfortunately those particular “cuss” words come out of my mouth frequently when driving around this town, and no I don’t have a cross on the back of my car. Now grant you I’ve come a long way from when a lot of other words would come flying out of my mouth. But still, even the minor ‘cuss’ words are not good.

We are to lead from example. What kind of example am I setting? Not a very good one. It wasn’t too long ago Thomas had to write 20 times I will not say bad words. And yet here I am saying the exact words he had to write about. How fair is that? Do as I say not as I do… that doesn’t work in this day and age.

I’m a work in progress no doubt. I’ve come a long way. I used to sound like a sailor talking several years ago, you didn’t want to get into an argument with me I would hurl the foulest words at you in a second and not think twice about it. But I still have a long way to go. Sometimes I wish the process of progression didn’t take so long. But at least I can look back and see some progress. And you can sure bet I am biting my tongue more now while out on the road.

So I asked Matthew…“Matthew, why did you tell on your Momma“? His reply, “because I love you”. Awww. Isn’t that the same thing God says to us. How awesome.

By the way, if you were one of those people that I may have called (even though you couldn’t hear me) a jerk, moron, or whatever I am very sorry, please forgive me.

If you see me out there on the road and I have a very distorted looking facial expression you’ll now know why…..I’m doing my best to bite my tongue!

My Kindergartner Matthew:

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