I’ve been thinking a lot the past week about life and how short it really can be. Last week a young person we know died and it hit me extremely hard. Made me question many ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that I have. Many of my questions were of the “why?” nature. Did I get any answers? No. But what I did come away with was a sincere thankfulness in my heart for the many blessings that I have received in my life. I don’t know the whys of my past, I don’t know what my future holds but I do know that I am thankful to God for the present and everything before and what lies ahead. I wanted to do something that would make me remember how good God is to me so I decided to do a Tuesday Testimony. I can’t guarantee that I will post a testimony every Tuesday but hey this is a good start.
I grew up in a home where we did not go to church. God was definitely not talked about. The only memories I have of any spiritual content was being told that there was no God and hell was living here on Earth. Quite the upbringing huh? My family was obviously not saved and knew nothing of the Lord so it’s easy to see why I was told that. It was pretty much a dysfunctional home life in many aspects which I won’t go into at this time. I never met my real father until I was 16. I ran away from home twice. Ended up on my own by the age of 17, married at 18, and had my first child at 19 and was divorced by age 23. I relied on myself totally. My whole concept in life was that if you couldn’t trust your own family you sure couldn’t trust anyone else but yourself. Well in a sense I couldn’t even trust myself. Looking back I can see so many instances where God had His hand on my life even though I didn’t know Him. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted with no concern about anybody else. I didn’t care who I hurt on my journey and it didn’t bother me at all what I was doing. It’s nice to know that God doesn’t give up on us too quickly. Me coming to the Lord was a very long process.
God put people in my life that were very godly people. The first person was my landlord. Oh how I used to hate going to pay the rent! Every time I went she would talk about God and she would ask to pray for me. This was a nice old lady, how could I say no to her, plus she was my landlord. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough. But just about every time I went she either talked about her God or wanted to pray for me.
The next person He put in my life was a nice christian man that I worked with in the shipping department. Poor Larry got the brunt of my discouraged life. I would say really bad things in his presence just because I knew he was a professed christian. Yeah, I was bad, really bad. Any foul thing I could think of at times just to see what his reaction would be. Looking back I know for a fact that good ol’ Larry was praying for me, he probably thought I was the devil himself. Funny thing is that towards the end of my 5 years of working with him I would catch him in a corner when no one was around and ask him questions about his faith and such.
One other person was a very old man that worked in the same place as me. Everyone pretty much knew who “Jackie” was. I knew lots of people there and I had quite a reputation and not a good one I might add. At any rate this old man named David was a christian. He would stop me in the hallways and ask to pray for me. And of course I would let him, I did respect my elders somewhat. It was always awkward but at the same time nice. I always ended up crying afterwards. He invited me to his church many times but I always had an excuse not to go. I did go to his house once with my son and had dinner with him and his family. His wife was very nice and we talked about life. He never pushed me or his beliefs on me. Actually none of the people that God put in my life did that. They just talked and prayed for me. I have to say it did peak my curiosity. But after I had dinner with him and his family and they had no TV and didn’t believe in it I thought that was a bit crazy. I wasn’t ready to give up my TV much less my lifestyle at that point.
Then there was the nice old lady in my neighborhood who came to ask me if she could take my son to church with her. She came and got him every Wednesday for their kids program. It was a nice break for me at the time and it did get Bradley into church. Funny how as parents we don’t mind our kids going and knowing they need it but figure we don’t need it. I know she was praying for me because she told me she was.
Isn’t interesting to see how God orchestrated these people in my life. Even though they weren’t in my close circle they were close enough. Can you imagine where I might be if these few people hadn’t been praying for me. God knew I need lots of prayer! God knew that I didn’t have parents or other family praying for me but He made sure that someone was praying for me. That’s awesome. I was a lowly sinner, living in complete and utter darkness yet He was there rooting for me before I even knew Him. WOW! That’s so cool.
I was totally oblivious to what was going on and how God was working in my life. I love looking back on it all and seeing His mark on things. I wish I could say that I was led to God at that time but I wasn’t. But seeds were being planted. My landlord, Larry, David, & the lady who took Bradley to church planted lots of seeds but it took a few more years before those seeds grew into anything.
I am thankful to God for putting those people in my life even though at the time I thought they all were a little nuts. I’m thankful because if He hadn’t I might not be where I am today. Not that I have arrived anywhere by no means! I still have a LONG way to go. A work in progress and unfortunately I’m a slow learner.
This is only part of the testimony of this journey and I have many more testimonies. You’ll have to come back to read more.
So do you have a testimony on this Tuesday you can share. Tell about something God has done in your life. It will lift your spirit as you reflect on God’s goodness. Kind of makes whatever you are going through a lot less relevant.
Random Ramblings 